Lost

11:48pm -- 12/5/11 -- Monday

My whole life I never lost my sight to what I want in life – and that is to be rich and inspire people. Now, I’m broke. No job. No girlfriend. No absolute future plans.

What do I do nowadays? Wake up in the morning, break some sweat, surf the net, watch tv/dvd, do some household chores, sleep. Well I get to participate on some meeting of my old organizations – which made me realize I am lost.

Yes I get to help the current officers of my past orgs, but then I feel I don’t have enough credibility. I try to keep them inspired, keep them moving, keep them doing what is expected from them. But who am I? I am nobody now.

I want a lot of things, but what am I doing to have them – nothing!

I don’t want to be employed again. I wanna do business but don’t have any capital yet. I wanna go schooling again, but it’ll still be by June 2012 – what to do for the next 6 months?

I can’t remember what happened and why is this happening to me right now. I lost my ideals, my passion, my fuel, my life.

I feel very useless now. I am doing nothing of what I really want. I am earning nothing. I hope to end this self pity, because I am not like this. This is not me.

I hope to find myself soon. Regain my vision in life. Realize my passion. 

--- until my next post. follow me https://twitter.com/#!/jarugaslag